Like laundry!
Shortly after we returned home from our Thanksgiving get a way we received a phone call from Lynn, Jason’s mom telling us that she had been in a car accident. The lady who hit her was uninsured so there is not much she can do. The car is drivable but has no taillights. This is her only way to the cancer center and she has little to no money for other transportation.
This was a little stressful because Lynn thinks that whenever something happens that she does not have an answer for then Jason needs to just fix it. We on the other hand have been really concerned about her driving. Her health is not doing well and she is on a lot of medicines including a lot of pain meds. We have been worried for some time that she may get into an accident, this is risky not only for her but also for everyone on the road. So God works again….
In the mean time I have been working on opening a store. I have always wanted to do my own thing and I think that I figured out what I want to do. Now don’t get me wrong I love staying home with the kids. They fill me with laughter and love. I like having an open schedule where I can spend time at the library or go to the park for the afternoon. But in a way I am getting very board. There are only so many play dough animals you can make before you need something more.
I have thought a lot about going back to work. I have never been the work for someone kind of person and I have always wanted to do my own thing. So I am going to open a store. What kind of store? A kitchen supply store right here in Eagle. We have bought a little house that we are going to renovate and turn into a retail space. I am very excited and scared at the same time. I will try to keep everyone posted as much as I can.
Wean while a few days after we heard of Lynn’s accident Alysha calls. Alysha has not talked to me in weeks and I always call her she never calls me. When I answered the phone she was in hysterics. I could not understand a word that came out of her mouth.
Mom, come to the hospital!
Are you ok?
Come quick
What is going on?
Jayden was hit
Is he ok?
No, he’s dead.
Ok I will be there as soon as I can
Alysha’s step sister was getting ready for work and her son who is three years old opened the front door and walked out on to State St. at 7:30 in the morning. He was hit be a car and killed instantly. He turned three years old on December 3 and died on December 5th. He was a very precious little boy who was loved very much. This has been a huge shook to the whole family. After attending the saddest funeral with the smallest little casket I cried.
Alysha 1993
I started crying and could not stop. The tears that fell where like a river. They streamed down my cheeks and fell to the ground I felt that I was being drowned in the waters of grief. I shouted to the Lord my anger and frustration.
The pain the Alysha has been put through the horrible terrible things that she has seen. Her pain is so deep and there is nothing I can do to help her. She does not understand any of her feelings and I can’t do anything to help her.
She is my baby and I only want her to come to me. I cannot fix anything but I can love her. I want to hold her and ease her pain but I cannot make her take my love. This is exactly what God has been telling me. He cannot take my pain or fix anything but he can and does love me. All I have to do is go to him and he will give me what I need.
The tears we shed become rivers
Rivers of tears from our path
Our paths that lead us around the corners of life
The corners we cannot see till we get to them
Life that we can not feel till we are living it
The river is fierce with nothing to hold
Tears run into lakes of sorrow
Sorrow that lies deeper then the depth of our lakes
In the depth of our pain we find the center of our lives
The more tears that we shed the deeper we go
The more pain that you feel the more life that you know
You will see that the tears you have shed are the waters around you
The water that quenches your thirst when you are dry
The water the gives you hope when you are alone
The water that cleanse us within
Our tears become a river that flows
Through this deep pain Alysha came home. She came to my arms where I could do nothing but hold her and love her. I cannot take her pain away but I help her carry it.
Alysha 2007
